Et maintenant, voil quelques blagues en franais! For good measure, he also surrenders to five million Note: this one is lost in translation A-G sounds just like ages in French, so aged. It was the second-most watched French YouTube clip of the year. It is a Paris site. France was decisively defeated in the Franco-Prussian War and surrendered in May 1871. A: Throw in a bar of soap. the U.S.A. every single day ! The first guy walks up to the counter and says "Hello, I'd like to buy A: To remind them of their mothers. Q: What do you call a French man killed defending his country? Jokes in French are also a door into French culture. Before you leave for France, make sure you have a valid travel insurance policy because accidents happen on the road. Jay Leno, "Finally, this week the French soldiers have showed up in Afghanistan. 94. What do you think? Q: What's the motto of the US Marine Corps? The guy's jaw drops "1.3 million dollars! The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a how to surrender properly." Q: Why don't the French eat M&M candies? A: I don't know either, its never happened! Q: Whats in the middle of Paris? France Jokes and Funny Quotes About France jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_5670_1_3').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_5670_1_3', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });[4]Joe Hutch French Joke jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_5670_1_4').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_5670_1_4', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });[5]Lexiophiles Top Five Jokes on the French jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_5670_1_5').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_5670_1_5', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });[6]StrategyPage Military Jokes and Military Humor jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_5670_1_6').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_5670_1_6', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], }); ThoughCo. Le chat! under the other? 3. ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. A: Because, in war time, they are the biggest buyers of running shoes. An apple which is red, yellow, and green, what would we call (appeler) it? We peel (ple) it with a knife! When their country was taken over by the Germans during World War II (the origin of their reputation as having a tendency to surrender), many French still fought, either as Liberation Army members, or as members of the Resistance and the Just Among the Nations. I decided to go to France on a whim. Battalion de Franais (French Surrender Battalion) of the tranger Lgion Within a A: Linoleum blownapart(Napoleon Bonaparte). A: Gratitude. A: Surrender twice. Q: What does "Maginot" mean in English? Q: Why does every army (except the U.S., England and Israel) have to have a French flag? Okay, I started this article with a lame play on words but I promise that (this time), its on purpose. Last modified on Mon 1 May 2023 08.59 EDT. A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to Frances ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. Why do the French say to go to the toilets whereas the Belgian (the French speaking ones) say to go to the toilet? expected to see a hamburger patty between two pieces of bread. dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit." Dutch farmers and tulip growers are "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq." Dennis Miller. disservice to bags filled with scum. Toto comes home from his first day of elementary school. needed to defend his capital city, Chirac replied, "I do not know. A: Betcha Can't Hate Just One! you. Un cactus dit un autre : Connais-tu le langage des hommes, toi ? Oui rpond lautre cactus. Or how about the Marquis de Lafayette, who essentially saved our butts in the American Revolution? go The next time the Cest lhistoire de deux pommes de terre.Une delles se fait craser et lautre scrie : Oh pure ! France's surrender in the Franco-Prussian War is seen by historians as one of the root causes for the outbreak of World War One. plastic surgery. The previous wave was a reaction to the French firm refusal to participate in the invasion of Iraq in 2003, supposedly and wrongly to dismantle mass destruction weapons which did not exist (the only people who believed they did were in the US government). ranger L? In addition to being a neat trick, its also a way to signify that Toto has zero intelligence. A subreddit to help you keep up to date with what's going on with reddit and other stuff. garrulous Frenchman was escorted to the door and told to go "Pound In the U.S., we put them in a prostitutes." The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but A: The bucket. President of France. Ever heard of William the Conqueror and Napoleon, for example? into Gaelic rage: "Listen to me! Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier? 12. Whether youre traveling to France or posting a throwback, feel free to use these France puns in your photos caption. are, so at least you'll have that going for you." give up!". For example, Corrine would become: core une tite goutte! Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around President Bush pressed his forearm with his thumb & the beeping 5 - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant but Un enfant va avec son pre lhpital pour voir sa mre qui a accouche. 63. A: So the Germans could march in the shade. in France and enjoy it ! I'm think I'm getting a The Prime Minister explained, "That was my cell phone, chaps. In todays article, youll find the funniest, darkest, and punniest puns about France to laugh out loud or just think duh.. feigned astonishment: "Marie Sainte! Speaking of which, knock knock jokes, which begin Toc toc toc, qui est l, do exist in French, but theyre not original to the language or culture, and are relatively recent. 68. If you say the names Anna, Lise, Medhi, and add their last name, cale, out loud, you get analyse mdicale medical test. F. All of the above. A: They couldn't find any French to join! When my dad went to France, he made sure to avoid the Eiffel Tower. "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in A: Reverse! This is later known as "de Gaulle Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to shingle a roof? 16. Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion. Norman Schwartzkopf. and French generals to say "We surrender" in German. To make matters worse, there were no male 42. French to Send Surrender Advisors to Iraq Paris (Associated Press) French to Send Surrender Advisors to Iraq In a stunning reversal of policy, French President Jacques Chirac announced today that the French government will be supporting the War on Terror after all. Q: You are approached by three men while walking down a dark city through the winter, then arouse themselves to conquer France in six Islamic warfare: "We can always beat the French." street. and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." Major. A. There is also the fact that most people making this joke don't understand the rivalry between France and Germany : I got nothing Toulouse! If you get sick, injured, or have your stuff stolen, you'll be happy to have the ability to pay for your medical bills or replace what was stolen. It was a problem about a leaking tap. - The second to turn tail and run. A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender. warfare for the Italians, Russians, Prussians, Germans, English, A: Kick his sister in the jaw. Toto is an important character in French joke culture. The Landlord looks at the Frenchie and says "You want a go?" "Eet ees important to be haughty and insufferable when surrendering," said General Philippe de Peepee, the Commanding Officer of the Surrender Battalion, who has personally surrendered in more than 200 battles going back to Dien Bien Phu in 1954. They do not know how to say CHARGE!. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. A: I dont know either, its never happened! the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Translation: Why do the French say go to the toilets, while our Belgian friends say Im going to the toilet? A: Chuck his wife and kids in as well. The cheese shop in Lyon was destroyed in the earthquake. The real reason the French have not mobilized in the war with Iraq is De Gaulle of it all Q: The American military wears combat boots. A lcole, linstitutrice sadresse Toto quoi sert le mouton ? nous donner la laine, mademoiselle linstitutrice. quoi sert la poule ? nous donner des oeufs, mademoiselle linstitutrice. quoi sert la vache ? nous donner des devoirs, mademoiselle linstitutrice. Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese, Native Americans and capitalists. Q: What do Frenchies and Lays Potato chips have in Common? for you. I dont speak French. Go get it. You might think of him as that kid on a TV sitcom whose only role seems to be to comment on or say something in a funny way and provide comic relief. dumbfounded look. you arrogant Americans who never surrender. ", Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad? If youre a fan of the French movie Intouchables, youve probably heard it, as well. Q: What does a frog in Paris eat? 93. Exclaims the dentist. Yes, precisely, I came here to ask you to install an alarm. done, it will strike France in 8 hours and completely destroy our seat." Q: Why is good to be French? sit there?". 1000-floor high1 Et tu nas rien fait ! A: 5 minutes to One. in the US press: DID YOU KNOW camel in the head and the camel gives the landlord oral pleasure. Q: Whats the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf? Q: What's the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf? A: A good days hunting. Note: There is an audible pun at work here. You see, when it comes to French humor in general, theres a tendency to mock people who seem silly or not particularly intelligent. A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers. France, I hope our paths croissant again. 74. A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline. With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine. Sadly, as you might have guessed, this joke doesnt work with every name. France has usually been governed by I didn't mean to The answer is a name (or names, because you can also say Monsieur et Madame ont des/trois, etc. Weve put together a hilarious list of the best France puns and jokes about France for you! We get that. This is un, this is deux, this is trois, this is quatre, this is six. Are you obsessed with all things France? The show The Simpsons has become notorious for some of its episodes and jokes becoming eerily accurate. Pourquoi en France dit-on aller aux toilettes, alors quen Belgique, nos amis disent :Je vais la toilette? Also some sickening but true information came my way about the French. Une maman citron dit ses enfants : Pour vivre longtemps, il ne faut jamais tre press ! Jonathan!). Hes on his 23rd Mission! It goes: Il y en a dans le placard, va donc te servir. You drive A: Breath the air in Paris! A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it. A: They have one forward gear and six reverse ones. Q: Did you hear about the winner of the French beauty contest? At this point in time, I'm just wondering if WG enjoys French surrender jokes.because the tier 10 is gonna get turned into a near constant joke. Sponsor m. expression"? I love to meet new people and make new France-ys while travelings. Q: How do you keep a French person from crashing your party? a country and its inhabitants, how can you happily be among them 83. pain in the neck." "We throw them away, of course," replies the Frenchman, with a They do not know how to say "CHARGE!". A new approach to learning both traditional and modern French logically structured for English speakers. What do you do? Think of your favorite animal and add a French onomatopoeia word (heres a handy list). Britannia". German: No, no, no, just visiting. A: You can make soldiers out of toast. What would you call the Eiffel Tower if it falls over? few weeks, the female gorilla became very cranky and difficult to ", said the American. Even on an individual level, French people continue to show incredible bravery. today that the French government will be supporting the War on Terror after all. How do you get a trombone to sound like a French horn? Q: What do French recruits learn in basic training? Q: do Frenchmen always were yellow ties ? 7. The French have been our allies since day one and have stuck by us ever since. A) Stay up late and watch it happen on TV. situation. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never containers, recycle them, then transform them into croutons, and sell French children? 106. stop Hussein soon, he will obtain nuclear weapons. gorilla species available. replied the butcher. Order her books : More on Harriet's books (excerpts, upcoming Youve been warned. Heres one from the French version of popular website Buzzfeed. And that's because it was raining." cannibal. Q: How can you tell if a Frenchman has been in your backyard? "okay, that will be 1.6 million dollars!" Paris (Associated Press) French to Send Surrender Advisors to Iraq In a stunning reversal of policy, French President Jacques Chirac announced today that the French government will be supporting the War on Terror after all. Hound of UIster, Jun 25, 2010 #9 Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral Joined: May 10, 2005 Location: Confederation of Earth Toto, you have not responded [to the question] at all, but have written a phone number. Chirac's ass? From a bumper sticker: "Save the Crepes - Eat A Frenchmen!". one behind me." Being European, he see expected to have both "Do you know how many French it takes to get a pound of brains!?" Im moving to France! Why should we expect the French to help us liberate Iraq, they didn't they were covertly asked not to participate with the coalition. Where does Sunday come before Thursday? In the dictionary. The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! Rush Limbaugh, "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit. wear that red uniform, it makes it easy for us to shoot you." 2.5 Hours French Audiobook - 100% Free / Keep Forever , https://audio.frenchtoday.com/blog/jokes_17_frenchtoday.mp3, https://audio.frenchtoday.com/blog/jokes_16_frenchtoday.mp3, https://audio.frenchtoday.com/blog/jokes_14_frenchtoday.mp3, https://audio.frenchtoday.com/blog/jokes_12_frenchtoday.mp3, https://audio.frenchtoday.com/blog/jokes_9_frenchtoday.mp3, https://audio.frenchtoday.com/blog/jokes_8_frenchtoday.mp3, https://audio.frenchtoday.com/blog/jokes_6_frenchtoday.mp3, https://audio.frenchtoday.com/blog/jokes_2_frenchtoday.mp3, https://audio.frenchtoday.com/blog/jokes_1_frenchtoday.mp3. ", Oui oui oui. 11 - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the Because you're driving me In-SEINE. Q: How does every French joke start? 76. the cafeteria where the members of Congress eat announced that they [correct form for horses]Pierre: Shut up, Im the story-teller here [Literally, Its me who recounts/tells/relates]. Just as its hard for native English speakers to say rs like a French person, its hard for French people to mimic the flat English r. Every nationality has its reputation around the world whether its deserved or not. Fall of France (1940) Read original jokes that poke fun of France and its culture, from its military to its football and Tour de France! "We French are ze world masters at surrendering, n'est ce pas, not like an Italian. Can I go to France this year? Ideas for the top 101 French jokes were taken from the following sources. listens in silence. Q; How does a Frenchman hold his liquor? country : too bad there are so many French people around". 40. Je me le dis moi-meme avec assez de verve I know its not usually considered a good thing for a journalist to cite Wikipedia, but tant pis (too bad) this Wikipedia entry has two blagues de Toto that really capture the character and joke types range: La matresse demande Toto, lors dune leon sur lesrimes, de donner un exemple.Toto dit alors: Dimanche, je suis all la chasse aux grenouilles,et dans le ruisseau javais de leau jusquaux genoux. Mais Toto a ne rime pas du tout! Cest pas ma faute, yavait pas assez deau! When in France, we only have breakfast of the Champignons. The word paf is an onomatopoeia (a word that imitates a sound), and the joke relies in showing us its more than just the dogs nameand why. Good day! drawbacks it is a fine country. Typical French jokes The French always surrender, they are cowards, .. Buy a French rifle on e-bay : never used, dropped once. people." Q: Then why are the French chopping down the trees now? A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish. La matresse demande Toto: Conjugue-moi le verbe savoir tous les temps. Je sais quil pleut, je sais quil fera beau, je sais quil neigeait. A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it. Ha, I spit on your filthy American more French to Send Surrender Advisors to Iraq In a stunning reversal of policy, French President Jacques Chirac announced today that the French government will be supporting the War on Terror after all. Q: Whats the new French flag look like? How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Since the Middle Ages, when France became established as a country. The only thing I could come up with is Nazi occupation, which is 1) an extremely tasteless thing to joke about, 2) makes no sense, since Third Reich easily defeated and occupied a bunch of other European countries as well, and 2) it's not like the British had an invasion on their land and bravely withstood it not to mention the Americans. France has usually been governed by prostitutes. Mark Twain. Then help us spread the love and share it with your friends who might like it too! command staff retreats to Algeria to institute a crash language The French refused to go along with the clusterfuck known as the Iraq War. Q: You are approached by three men while walking down a dark city street. Q: Why wasnt Jesus born in France? fils/filles) that uses the first syllable or word that, when combined with Monsieur et Madames last name, makes a new word or phrase. It appeared that a long piece of toilet paper was dangling from the He surrendered." -Jay Leno "France has a new president who lives with a woman that he is not married to. 55. "Actually, my story is much WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS 'A' STANDS FOR?! books, column "That An Englishman was rowing a boat down a river and singing, "Rule learning the Horst Wessel Song and some small portion of the German ", says the American. Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered It includes what is probably my favorite Monoprix pun, a package of mixed nuts with a line reading Promenons-nous dans les noix (Lets walk through the nuts). Before we get started, lets talk about how to say joke in French, because this will help you if you want to search for more examples of the kinds of jokes Im going to list below. -trilingual What do you call someone who speaks 2 languages? puppets what to do. Q: Do you know why the French invented perfume? There are lots of different jokes and types of humor in France, but there are also some classic jokes that just about any French person will recognize. A: It was their first time they won anything without the help of the U.S. 23. To prepare for It's never been fired but I heard If youre reading this blog, you may have already done an online search for jokes about learning French maybe you even know a few. a salad fork and a dinner fork instead of the single fork on his France was a stock, I'd sell it". dog. 4/27/2023 1:14 PM PT. Pierre was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have knew my mother. assist the elite Iraqi Republican Guards in their inevitable surrender to the A: In case they want to surrender! He bowed deeply and The last time the French asked for "more proof", it came marching into Paris under a German flag (David Letterman) "For some reason, France and chicken match together" (a commercial campaign by Subway in 2004 about a . madman could result in a bloodbath. 91. events, testimonials, etc..), Read the results of a survey (published by the L.A.Times) about, messages Surrender jokes mainly come from America, and are, in this Americans opinion, completely unfair and ignorant. The guy thinks for a whining about America again. a place where everyone's running amok with guns, you READ about 32. Have you had a visit to Paris on your bucket list forever and ever or at least since Carrie and Mr. Big strolled the Seine in the Sex And The City finale? his room. Did you like this post about French puns? Home Inspiration 50+ Hilarious France Puns & Jokes Youll Love. How do you introduce yourself in French? Apart from these The Frenchwoman says, "Excuse mebut that's a duck." upvote downvote report The 2000 Chinese women's gymnastics team had to surrender their bronze medal after it was discovered that Dong Fangxiao was younger than the minimum age of 16. For a change : HOW ABOUT A LITTLE BIT OF FRENCH-PRAISING ? A: "Table for One Hundred Thousand?". Q: Where can you find 60,100,000 French jokes? DECEASED CELEBRITY" All three decide to go in and give it a shot. American: "You're Welcome! What I really want to know is, where does that come from? weeks. A: Nothing, theyre both fictional characters. Q: what the Frenchmen can do in 5 minutes? Toto replies, Not enough they want me to come back tomorrow.. paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me." Q: What do French mobsters fear more than anything else? kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' ("I can mock it myself, even in a very mean way, but I cannot tolerate anybody else doing it"). My eyes are in New York. Q: Hear about the library that burnt down in Paris? They come across a lantern and a the Surrender Battalion, who has personally surrendered in more than 200 battles Q: What do you do if you drive over a French man? Unlike Monsieur et Madame jokes (and many French jokes in general), a blague de Toto doesnt necessarily rely on wordplay.
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